Things Learned

I have returned from my hiatus, much to everyone's delight. Everyone that is, except my own. While I love all of you, I would rather still be on vacation even if that means no Wolfden V.

My travels took me to paradise, specifically The Cayman Islands. I spent a week there, and I would have spent more if I had the time, money, and means. The place is beautiful and the picture posted in the previous post "Exhausted" was not some random photo grabbed off the Internet. Instead, it was the actual beach where I stayed. I miss it already. Badly. As is, I had to return to Minneapolis, but not without having learned a few tidbits on my journey. Naturally, I am here to share them here with you.

-The Cayman Islands are a British Territory that nobody wanted. Founded in the late 1700s, explorers thought it too small to do much of anything with. Early settlers begged England to give them laws and some sort of authority to prevent the otherwise free-for-all caused by those ornery Jamaicans, feisty non-Disney pirates, and other lost explorers bumping into each other on the tiny island. England ignored them (and probably still does) leading to three somewhat important people writing their own constitution at the recently restored Pedro St. James house. Now, the Pedro St. James home is the only historical anything on the island and is roamed by a tour guide who mumbles and veers off topic. Friendly fella, though.

-Sunsets are stunning. See the photo of Becky and I above. I want to be there again. Now.

-No matter the sample size, the man wearing the speedo is always the hairiest one on the beach. Unfortunately, this proved true on multiple occasions over many days. See, there was something negative about this trip.

-My in-laws love a store called Big Daddy's. Big Daddy's exists to meet all your liquor needs. I love that my in-laws love Big Daddy's. I also enjoying writing Big Daddy's.

-There is a place called Hell, and I'm not speaking biblically. Hell is located on the northern side of Grand Cayman. While its a fairly unimpressive rock formation in the middle of a swamp, the locals have jumped on the opportunity to snag tourist dollars. One gentleman, Ivan, painted his little shop all red and dresses in a cape with devil horns. Really, he does this for a living (Valpo comm degree perhaps?). That and making "hell jokes" which really aren't jokes so much as they are working "hell" into every sentence. A noble man, Ivan.

-Inevitably, Minneapolis International Airport would be under a Severe Winter Storm Warning from Saturday morning until Sunday night making it the second time in my life I have left the United States mainland only to return to a snowy mess. Nothing like a "Winter Welcome Home." I woke up Saturday morning and walked on the beach. By Saturday night, I had to get out of the car to shovel enough snow out of our driveway so Becky could pull into the garage. Stupid, Minnesota.

-Grand Cayman does offer cable television. The city from which it takes it's network feed? Erie, Pennsylvania. That’s right, Erie, Pennsylvania. No joke. "Local" weather forecasts on the nightly news tended to not be relevant to our stay in Grand Cayman, though the city seems very excited about their hockey. Good for them.

-People are wonderfully religious. Ash Wednesday marking the start Lent is a non-Holy Day of Obligation in the Catholic Church. Yet, I have never attended a service where the church was more overflowing than I did this past Wednesday. The fire marshall, if they have those on Grand Cayman, would have been displeased at the people lining every wall, standing two deep in the middle aisle, and spilling out the main door craning to hear the service.

-Tremendous food. I had never had Wahoo, Snapper, Swordfish, or Grouper before, and I’m not sure that I could tell any of them apart even now, but my goodness, they are all delicious.

-There may be nothing more relaxing than a good book, 82 degree weather, a white sand beach, a pina coloda, and an IPod featuring the best of Tantric, Stone Temple Pilots, Our Lady Peace, and Green Day. I did this for days in a row. I realize you hate me, and I’m ok with that cause I would hate you too.