Monday, February 12, 2007

Chicago Bulls vs. Pheonix Suns

There's something lazy about blogging about an NBA game from a day ago, but I must fulfill my homework assignment. I went out of my way to avoid seeing the final score and any other highlights so this will be as "live" as it can be for me. Being that I do not have off days very often, I fill it with non-computer and non-Walgreens things to maximize my overall productivity. As such, I did not have the total amount of time to devote to this project that I otherwise would have. I have taken Professor Gieryna's suggestion and started with the second half.

Alright, I'm settled in and getting ready to begin the third quarter. The halftime statistics seem to suggest the Bulls should be dominating. A look of the score shows that they are up 11. Yay Chicago!

Hey look, there's Luol Deng! Last time I saw him, he was killing Ali Berdiel. Too bad he just missed that dunk. That would have been impressive.

Now there's Kirk Hinrich! I remember when he was a Jayhawk. Too bad he just missed that three pointer. That would have been impressive.

The announcers are talking about Barbosa who is either that guy in my fantasy league or the captain of the Black Pearl. Arrr!

Shawn Marion took a shot in isolation. It barely drew iron. I knew I wasn't making this up.

Raja Bell made a three pointer despite Tyrus Thomas hip checking him. With the 2 minute minor, Thomas went to the penalty box.

Hinrich has the best footwork of anyone on the floor.

At the same time, #38 for Chicago is a big slow white guy. Who is he, and why is he in the NBA?

Furthermore, he just panicked in a double team and dribbled off his foot leading to a Captain Barbosa fast break. If I were in charge of Pheonix, I'd let that guy catch the ball and then swarm him every time.

There's Steve Nash. He's hunched over in street clothes. Perhaps the nachos do not agree with him.

Ben Gordon to the free throw line. Man is he ripped and scary looking.

Isolation set for Amare Stoudemire. He airballed a reverse layup. Ben Wallace dominated that match up.

According to the graphic, Ben Wallace has the worst free throw percentage, pretty much, ever. If Chris Dudley (former Cav!) is your next closest anything, you are not very good.

In my stereotype of the NBA, I thought they didn't call travelling. I'm pleased to see that they in fact do. Greg Anthony said that move might be ok for the disco or the hip-hop club but not on the basketball court. Agreed.

There have been a dozen whistles here as we approach the first commercial break. Choppy game. Is this a typical whistle-happy NBA game or is this abnormal? It's really been every time down the floor.

Yet another travelling call! This pleases me. The announcers disagree, but it absolutely was a walk. Take that Amare.

The blonde in the crowd is clapping joyously as the Suns have cut the lead to 3. Time for another commercial break.

Luol Deng = lanky.

Becky called. I didn't pause. There's a good 5 minutes in this game that I have nothing to say on as a result. 3rd quarter is now over and the Suns outscored the Bulls by 16 that period. Not so good, Chicago.

Does Ben Wallace normally look this disinterested? They showed a shot of him on the bench and I think he was chatting with Steve Nash.

Hinrich is talented. He simply dribbled around everyone for 20 seconds before weaving his way to an uncontested lay-up.

Amare just realized that Ben Wallace was taking a potty break and badly exposed the Bulls interior defense. And on cue, Skiles has Wallace coming back in. There seems to be some toilet paper attached to his right foot.

For the third time this game, I was looking at my computer typing only to look back up and see Ben Gordon at the free throw line. Just an observation.

Ben Wallace missed an uncontested lay-up. I'm beginning to understand some of this disgust I've picked up in other blogs for his offensive play.

Great ball movement leading to a Hinrich 3. He's now 9 of 13 from the floor after draining another jumper. 10 of 14. Another 3. He's fantasic.

Chris Duhon made an oustanding defensive read leading to a steal and a fast break. He promptly missed the ensuing lay-up. So that's why he doesn't start.

I'm not sure why, but there's a shot of John Saunders in his hockey playing days. I knew my earlier hip checking reference was not out of place. Greg Anthony is now grilling Saunders on his hairstyle in the 70s. A shot of the announcers shows Tim Legler completely disinterested, probably doing some statistical analysis. Legler now smoothly transitioned this banter back to the game saying, "One guy who does not have an afro is Raja Bell who is struggling tonight."

Chicago is beginning to pull away, now up 10 with 2:39 to go. We are now taking extra camera shots of Steve Nash gnawing away at a slice of gum. Maybe he'll tear away his street attire and reveal a Superman outfit in leading Pheonix to victory. Or maybe he'll continue to work on those hard to digest nachos. The gum will help the breath but not the digestion process.

The graphic says that Chicago outscored Pheonix 33-15 in the fourth quarter. That's a good way to erase that disasterous 3rd.

I suppose that will about wrap things up. Chicago wins. The NBA is not as miserable as I remember, but it's nowhere near college basketball. 116-103, yay Bulls!


Eli said...

Drew, I'm glad to hear you like the NBA a little better.

And yes, Kirk Hinrich is very good.

And no, NBA refs usually don't call as many fouls as they did in that third quarter. I have no idea what that was all about. It was all, like, harshing my mellow.

lonewolf said...

I like Kirk Hinrich now. In fact, I'm willing to offer Kevin Garnett and Gilbert Arenas for him in the fantasy league. I'm not sure who owns all of the above players, but it doesn't matter, I want the Jayhawk.