Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The TV Show Wasn't This Bizarre

Anna Nicole Smith died last week at the young age of 39 and the surrounding circumstances are incredibly tragic. At the core of it, you have a not so bright woman that is so stupidly wealthy that sad, pathetic people do their very best to manipulate the situation to their advantage. It's not to say that she didn't bring a lot (all?) of it on her self because she absolutely did with her bizarre behavior. But as it stands, two people are dead and their is a baby without a mother and too many fathers.

Becky is convinced that Howard K. Stern, Smith's lawyer, is involved in both of the deaths as preliminary reports have methodone and a curious mix of drugs in both Anna Nicole and her son. A shady civil ceremony off in the Bahamas would give Stern as much of a claim to Smith's millions and millions as anyone. Sure none of this could be true but it sure does play out like a well written novel.

Then you've got the other stooges claiming to be Smith's newborn's father.

Stooge 2: Larry Birkhead whose claim to fame is reporter, photographer, and Smith bedroom partner.

Stooge 3: Alexander Denk whose claim to fame is Smith's bodyguard and bedroom partner.

Stooge 4: Howard Marshall II whose claim to fame was making billions in the oil industry, marrying Smith despite her being some 70 years his junior, and who, according to his family, might have had sperm frozen making him Smith's bedroom partner from beyond the grave.

Stooge 5: Prince Frederick von Anhalt whose claim to fame is Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, calling himself a prince, and, yes, Smith bedroom partner. His case is especially dubious considering what I found in this MSNBC article. The highlights are below.

“I have to believe my client, but it’s still surreal,” Ronald Jason Palmieri (von Anhalt's lawyer) told the Los Angeles Times. “I would find it completely implausible that he is the father of that child, to put it lightly.”

Von Anhalt’s royal credentials have been the cause of speculation over the years. According to stories in the British press, he was born Robert Lichtenberg, the son of a German policeman, and bought his title after being adopted as an adult by a bankrupt daughter-in-law of the last kaiser.

How awful.

Who of these five (!) do we really think are looking out for the well being of this baby? 0, of course. They are all after other 0's.

What about Anna Nicole Smith, herself? People tend to have short memories when it comes to a newly deceased peron's past. Reggie White, for example, made a notoriously hateful speech in the last years of his life that was conveniently forgotten about when anyone wrote about his noble and humanitarian efforts right after his untimely passing. But you aren't getting that at all as it pertains to Smith. I have not heard about her wonderful spirit or great friendship from, well, anyone. All we are left talking about are her outlandish, promiscuous and selfish behaviors that has inevitably led to this outrageous soap opera that's unraveling before us.

I'm not sure that this post has much of a point except to show complete disgust and disdain for those involved and a deep sadness for a child without parents that will someday have to sort through this disaster. That and JR is most likely the true father.


JR said...

I have been far too busy with the Jessica twins -- Alba and Biel -- to impregnate Anna Nicole. So sorry.

lonewolf said...

Too bad. I wanted to forever to refer to you as "Stooge 6." In fact, I just may anyway.

dani said...

I happened to have my psychology class the same night that Anna Nicole died. My teacher, who bears a striking resemblence to Ben Stein, announced, "Anna Nicole killed herself because she was deeply depressed. Let's all be depressed now." Wait, what? Why are we being depressed?

lonewolf said...

That didn't seem to work out well for Anna Nicole. Glad to see you survived the night.