Monday, June 25, 2007

Buy a prom dress, get a wedding dress FREE

While waiting for the Vatican's next Ten Commandments, I must move on and cover other topics. To start the week, I'm going to tackle the incredibly creepy story of the forty year old coach and sixteen year old student.

That's right, Brenton Wuchae, 40, married Windy Hager, 16.

Gross. Every person I have ever known named Brenton has been absolutely disgusting. (1)

So how does something like this happen?

There's no rational reasoning here. It's pure insanity. This debacle began when Brenton coached Windy, then a freshman, in track and field. It begs the question if Windy's name was derived from her fleetness of foot, fleetness of rear gases, or fleeting parental minds as it pertained to the naming decision. Regardless, the student-teacher, coach-player relationship evolved to the point where they were sending text messages at 2am, discussing, no doubt, cross country running techniques.

Once mom and dad grew concerned with this questionable contact, they contacted the principal. The school board threw up their arms and said that they no longer had contact at school and what happened outside the grounds were uncontrollable. I'm not sure I buy that. Sure, Mr. Smith does cocaine on the weekend - when not soliciting child pornography - but hey, that's outside of school so who cares, right?

The oddest part of the story is that the parents of dear Windy actually signed off on consent forms for the marriage to happen. Remember, this was after they sought the assistance of the school board, pastors, friends, and family to make the contact stop. It's not as if they had a change of heart, they simply gave up.

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

"Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all," [Windy's father] said.

Sure. Windy's a lost cause, so let's cut our losses and focus on Junior. Nice touch. Interesting that the dad thought the withdrawn Windy was going "to kill" the family, yet this alternative somehow seemed like the better option. The dreaded 16 year old, "I hate you" is no doubt chilling, but I can't believe that it's enough to say ok, let's allow a pedophile to have at you, my daughter.

The twenty-four year difference in age is troubling and to put it in perspective, Becky pointed out that it's the equivalent of either one of us marrying a current one year old infant. While we both find babies cute, we do not find them semicolon/close parentheses cute.


Photo from Above the Law: Legal Tabloid

(Also interesting, and this is on the photo link site, Judge Judy makes more money than all nine Supreme Court Justices combined. Who knew?)


CHCgirl said...

Fantastic Title.

BTW: I went to Chicago's big Pride Parade this weekend and (I'm not making this up) there was a Price is Right float... complete with a very odd/female looking Bob Barker. I thought of you and that this would be even more disturbing for you than the idea of Rosie taking the helm of your beloved show.

Jan said...

Her parents need serious help!

dani said...

Looks like i need to get to hunting up my teachers... or not.