This is what I really really want

The Spice Girls are back!! Woo!! I'm fired up!! Time for Girl Power!!

It's hard not to get excited when they've thrown together this magnificent web page to support their forthcoming world tour.

For those too lazy to click over (and I would encourage everyone to do so just to see the latest in awesome web development), the page contains the following announcement:

Hey everybody!! We’re back!! Can you believe it!!

We’ve come together for an exclusive World Tour and this is the only place to register your details online! Just click the link below, choose which city you want to see us in, and fill in your information. Who knows if this will ever happen again, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity! To make it fair, we will randomly pick who gets to buy tickets. This is a chance for you, our real fans to come and see us — the last chance to dance!

Girl Power is back and stronger than ever. What are you waiting for.....

Lots of love

It's a personal pet peeve of mine whenever anyone portrays phony enthusiasm through the written word by using multiple exclamation points.

Be that as it may, those "real fans" out there can get involved with random ticket selection. That sounds promising.

I also enjoy how "Girl Power is back and stronger than ever" yet "who knows" if they'll bother to tour again.

There's a seventh grader in his basement giggling that he created this entire fake reunion tour. Kudos, good sir. Perhaps we'll run into each other Buenos Aires if we are both so fortunate to win the lucky Spice Girls lotto!!

Photo from The BBC

Beethoven would be proud

Because I took so long in catching up on my newspapers, I can't find the link to the actual story. Instead, you'll just have to believe me that it came from the money section of Monday, June 18th's USA Today. As part of a recurring feature, the publication is making up various top 25 lists to celebrate their 25 years in the business. Sometimes they are uninteresting (top 25 cars - the crapmobile, whose "service engine soon" light is now flickering, did not make the list) and sometimes they are Wolfen V worthy.

Solely because I'm too lazy and have other stuff to do today, I'm only going to take a peek at the top 10. There are 15 others, but I pay 75 cents a day to get these hard hitting stories. I'm not going to give them to you for free. I mean, I usually pick out the most interesting thing and then write a witty commentary on it. How much can you want?

Here's the actual lead-in so you may be able to get a slippery grasp on the vague criteria used in compiling this one person's purely subjective list:

In 1982, ABBA disbanded, Public Enemy formed and Ozzy Osbourne bit off a bat's head. In the 25 years since, music has undergone cataclysmic changes. USA TODAY's Edna Gundersen picks 25 top milestones; share your choices at usatoday.com (Drew's note: Or wolfdenv.blogspot.com)

1.) Napster (1999)

Unlike many #1's that are weak, I back this one 100%. Napster was a revolution in the way people consumed music. A concert on the other side of the country could be bootlegged and playing on a computer thousands of miles away just hours after the original show finished. Never before had songs been so easily shared and digested. Lucky enough to have lived at this time in history, I was a full participant in the Napster days, a time we will never live through again thanks to legislation that closed the narrow window of confusion on what is or isn't legal. The Napster network spawned several spin-offs and multiple lawsuits while giving bands and songs exposure unlike anything ever seen. I miss the free-for-all.

2.) Live Aid (1985)

Despite my musical background, I don't have much to say about Live Aid having no recollection of the event that occurred while I was 4. It seems like a massive undertaking and unique in its reach to help humanity. I like happy things. It can stay at 2.

3.) Michael Jackson on MTV (1983)

#3 is a supergroup that I'm not entirely sure should be tied together. The advent of MTV is not on USA Today's list at all, and Michael Jackson also makes no further appearances. In 1983, MTV was a baby taking it's first steps, and it happily embraced Michael Jackson-mania. I don't know that either would not have been able to exist without the other, but they used each other to the max and created an unstoppable force that propelled each to their individual greatness.

4.) N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton (1988)

Call me old and stereotypical, but rap music is bad, loud, and for hoodlums. (No, it's not a mislink, it made me laugh so much the first time, I forced into another hyperlink.)

5.) Smells Like Teen Spirit (1991)

Ah, now we are talking. The birth of grunge and modern rock. Kurt Cobain's troop of lethargic looking punks released this first track from their Nevermind album and the music landscape was forever changed. Other bands like Pearl Jam and Soundgarden were the roots behind Nirvana's upsurge, while other aspects of life such as the trendy and comfy flannel shirt rose to prominence. Several years later, Violent Rhythmic Cadence would win best amateur radio show in the country playing many of Nirvana's hits, including Smells Like Teen Spirit.

6.) iPods and iTunes (2001)

#6 still has time to shoot higher, unlike many others on the list. What Napster started, iTunes seemingly finished. iTunes remains the only truly successful digital outlet of music that everyone agrees is legal. It remade Apple's image, and paved the way for other new gadgets like the iPhone that just so happens to launch today. Time is still shaping the impact of the i-everything.

7.) Radiohead (1997)

I admit right off the bat that I have never gotten into Radiohead's music and therefore would not even have placed them on the top 25. The year listed, 1997, would seemingly refer to the released of their most critically acclaimed album, OK Computer. It sold just 1.9 million units in the U.S., which while nothing to laugh at, is not exactly top 25 worthy. I have to believe "The CD (1983)" (#13 on the list) deserves higher placement than Radiohead. Additionally, Madonna (#16) and American Idol (#21) do not make the top 10 while Radiohead does. Either has had a longer, larger splash than Thom Yorke. Blah.

8.) N'Sync (2000)

Truly N'Sync is a time capsule who at one time were the hottest - I mean that in multiple instances - thing on the market. Composed of what are now a Sexyback, a ballroom dancer, a gay guy, and two anonymous fellas, N'Sync turned to gold whatever they touched. A fixture on pop charts and TRL, N'Sync wiped the floor with other wannabes like 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys.

9.) Purple Rain (1984)

Prince is from Minnesota.

10.) SoundScan (1991)

Here's another revolution that's hard to rank in amongst bands and albums. Prior to 1991, counting album sales was largely a crap shoot. It's kind of amazing that it took so long to develop a meaningful way to count how many records a band sold. Now we can make fun of our cultural icons' inability to recognize tracks from known multi-platinum discs.

Photo from Midi-Classics

Get them while they are hot

Feeling guilty about depressing everyone with that whole Chris Benoit thing, I wanted to bring you an afternoon post that let's you know that Summit League wallpapers are now available. Now you too can have the Eli the Eagle brighten your computer screen. 4 "different" (simply grey versus black background and one without the logos) are there to choose from, but really how can you not go with the one featuring that angry and fighting UMKC kangaroo?

Photo from thesummitleague.org (don't forget, it's .org and not.com)

Chris Benoit

I go and complain about the lead story being a civics-challenged Vice President and in return I get a murder suicide involving a professional wrestler I've followed for almost 15 years. I'm not going to complain anymore.

In my younger days, I was an avid professional wrestling fan. For about ten years, I watched every Monday Night Raw, read all the websites, and occasionally spent those allowance dollars on pay-per-view. In the last five years or so, I have not kept up the crazy pace of those youthful days, but I still know most of the characters and a few of the plot points. During all of that time, Chris Benoit has been around.

He was never as flashy as the guys that are commonly known like Hulk Hogan or The Rock. I recall on multiple occasions those charismatic guys would always "get under the skin" of Benoit by saying he was "boring" or had "no personality." The story lines always portrayed him as the no nonsense, rarely talking bad ass who let his in ring performance do the talking.

Benoit was one of, it not the best, technical wrestler ever. While other guys did practice those funny catch phrases, Benoit would make sure his moves were crisper and more convincing than anyone else. His in ring acting was the best, and it's why he was one of my favorites. As mentioned, I don't follow WWE much anymore, but I will say that I was pleased when I heard a few years ago, they finally let him win the big title.

Then he joins the ranks of guys like Mr. Perfect, The British Bulldog, The Big Bossman, Ravishing Rick Rude, Owen Heart, and Brian Pillman as another pro wrestler to die before 45. Illegal drugs and various other weird circumstances are still coming to the forefront, and I still can't say exactly how I feel about the situation.

The man killed his wife and child, which is unfathomable. Yet, when you watch a guy on TV every single week for ten years, you know you don't get to know him, but you feel like you have. I don't have that disgust for a guy who did kill his family that I would have if it were just some John Doe on the news. It's more of a sinking feeling where I wonder what in the world happened to this guy that's spent hours upon hours in front of me. It makes it just that much more tragic.

Dave Meltzer, a fairly well known wrestling columnist who has been around forever, aptly described it:

"You always rooted for him, because he was a good guy and he overcame the odds. It's like if you watched 'Rocky,' and in the end it comes out that Rocky killed his wife and his son."

The good guy I always liked turned around and screwed up his personal life where it came to this. It's a weird, weird deal.

Photo from The Wolverine's Den

All that stuff we learned in civics class was worthwhile after all

Vice President Dick Cheney apparently likes to mess with people. I like to mess with people, too, but usually I make sure to be on the right side before I start with antics.

The first news story in yesterday's USA Today (the front page is typically filled with features that could run on any given day - a clever trick I use myself) found it's way onto page 2 with the headline "Lawmaker challenges Cheney on executive order."

Now usually I bypass political stories because I find them boring and depressing. This one is both boring and depressing but also holds that special something that makes it worthy of a blog subtitled "imbalance of intelligence."

Cheney is pretending to be a part of the legislative branch of government. That's cute, but c'mon seriously, you're really part of the executive branch. You know, the one with the guy whose ticket you ran on in 2000 and 2004. The President, George W. Bush who is the executive branch.

The confusion stems from Cheney's role of President of the Senate, which he feels makes him a member of the legislative branch. Ok, that's all very good and an important part of the Vice President's job, but really? The Vice President doesn't regularly attend Senate meetings and only votes in the event of a 50-50 tie. As you might imagine, that doesn't happen very often. Not like say, working with the White House which would be an every day type of thing.

The sad part of the story is that this is even a story. This debate might make a respectable high school essay, but the most widely circulated newspaper (sorry, Eli) in the country is making this the lead news story? Politicians and presumably important people are spending valuable time and money making this an event? Ugh.

So why does it matter?

The dispute stems from Cheney's refusal to file annual reports with an office of the National Archive detailing the number of documents his office either has classified or declassified.

Wow. This argument is about Cheney unwilling to count some paperwork. Not hand it over or declassify anything. Merely, this dispute comes about due to the Vice President's unwillingness to say how many of each he has.

Why should he have to file this report? Because President Bush made an executive order in 2003 requiring stats such as these be reported to the National Archives. Cheney's own ticket made it mandatory! It's not as if some meaningless law from the 1800s was being dredged up to cause trouble. In fact, Cheney has even submitted this same information two years prior. He just recently changed his mind on his standing.

Cheney's spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride:

"He can either deal with the serious issues facing our country or create more partisan politics."

Or we could avoid this whole debacle if he just counted the paperwork and not make it an issue. He made it one by playing dumb about civics!

A claim by Cheney's aides [said] that the vice president's office does not consider itself an entity within the executive branch that comes into the possession of classified information.'"

And here's why I can't read political articles. The vice president - the man who is one step away from becoming the most powerful person in the world - isn't a part of the executive branch and never comes into contact with any classified information. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Mrs. Depreo where are you now?

Photo from Encyclopedia Britannica

Buy a prom dress, get a wedding dress FREE

While waiting for the Vatican's next Ten Commandments, I must move on and cover other topics. To start the week, I'm going to tackle the incredibly creepy story of the forty year old coach and sixteen year old student.

That's right, Brenton Wuchae, 40, married Windy Hager, 16.

Gross. Every person I have ever known named Brenton has been absolutely disgusting. (1)

So how does something like this happen?

There's no rational reasoning here. It's pure insanity. This debacle began when Brenton coached Windy, then a freshman, in track and field. It begs the question if Windy's name was derived from her fleetness of foot, fleetness of rear gases, or fleeting parental minds as it pertained to the naming decision. Regardless, the student-teacher, coach-player relationship evolved to the point where they were sending text messages at 2am, discussing, no doubt, cross country running techniques.

Once mom and dad grew concerned with this questionable contact, they contacted the principal. The school board threw up their arms and said that they no longer had contact at school and what happened outside the grounds were uncontrollable. I'm not sure I buy that. Sure, Mr. Smith does cocaine on the weekend - when not soliciting child pornography - but hey, that's outside of school so who cares, right?

The oddest part of the story is that the parents of dear Windy actually signed off on consent forms for the marriage to happen. Remember, this was after they sought the assistance of the school board, pastors, friends, and family to make the contact stop. It's not as if they had a change of heart, they simply gave up.

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

"Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all," [Windy's father] said.

Sure. Windy's a lost cause, so let's cut our losses and focus on Junior. Nice touch. Interesting that the dad thought the withdrawn Windy was going "to kill" the family, yet this alternative somehow seemed like the better option. The dreaded 16 year old, "I hate you" is no doubt chilling, but I can't believe that it's enough to say ok, let's allow a pedophile to have at you, my daughter.

The twenty-four year difference in age is troubling and to put it in perspective, Becky pointed out that it's the equivalent of either one of us marrying a current one year old infant. While we both find babies cute, we do not find them semicolon/close parentheses cute.

;)

Photo from Above the Law: Legal Tabloid

(Also interesting, and this is on the photo link site, Judge Judy makes more money than all nine Supreme Court Justices combined. Who knew?)

The Pope drives 55 and so should you

I love being a Catholic. We get great things like Mary, crucifixes, and good works that are all stellar foundations for our faith. But when it comes to Catholicism you have to think of the Pope. And driving.

Perhaps inspired by a Pope Mobile incident a few days ago where some wacko decided to jump over a barricade, the Vatican has decided to rework one of the greatest pillars in the history of religion. No longer will the faithful have images of a bearded and sandaled man carrying down two tablets of God's law when they think of The Ten Commandments. Rather, we all can reflect on them while we are cruising down the interstate, for the papacy has issued the Ten Commandments of Driving.

1. You shall not kill.

Rising up four spots from last Ten Commandments, "you shall not kill" is the big mover of the millennium capturing the top spot.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

If I had a dime for every driver I saw out there seeking to do mortal harm, I'd be a rich man.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

Perhaps an asterisk denoting "uprightness" of the middle finger is not the meaning here in commandment #3.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

"Need" here is used loosely which seemingly includes everything from a 9-1-1 call to a gentle beeping of the horn to remind grandma to accelerate once the light turns green.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

No need for confession here. The crapmobile Saturn I drive boasts neither power or domination.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

If you ever wondered how a Catholic higher up would eloquently write "don't drink and drive," you are now satisfied.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

Continuation: Because if you do not, you will be obligated to support the families through spiraling lawsuits that will drain your savings.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

I have never been in an accident, but the first time I do, I will ask the other party when they would care to undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness as our cars are being towed away.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

Clearly, this references ducks having sex on Highway 65.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Much like JR's top ten lists over at The Trampoline Bear, I feel as if they threw in the towel here on the finale. This one is vague and would comfortably fit into any list from responsible driving to brain surgery to playing putt putt.

Photo from Davidmacd.com