What's worse?

A.) The pathetic roster: "The Browns, embarrassed 34-7 by the Pittsburgh Steelers in their home opener, will go into Week 2 with three quarterbacks; only one of them, third-stringer Ken Dorsey, has won an NFL game."

B.) This mismanagement and evaluation of talent: "Cleveland's trade of Frye is unprecedented. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, he's the first quarterback since the NFL/AFL merger in 1970 to start his team's season opener and be traded before Week 2."

C.) That Ken Dorsey is signed and mentoring anyone: "The club signed Dorsey to a one-year contract on Tuesday, 10 days after the Browns cut him. Dorsey will serve as a mentor to Quinn"

D.) The Cleveland Browns franchise in general.

Quotes from ESPN.com

Labor Day baseball

Look, it's three days later. Deal with it. I'm a busy man adjusting to hitting the space bar just once after the period. I'm doing better, and I'm time crunched. As such, my Labor Day adventure appears here on this site on Thursday. And after I go to the bathroom. (Awkward pause.) Alright, let's rock.

The story truly begins back last Friday night. I was sitting at my computer developing benchmarking research for the fictional Global Communications when Becky realizes that we both have Labor Day off. Now this is a revolutionary revelation because I haven't had a mutual day off with my wife since, I believe, the first weekend in August. Realizing we may never again have this opportunity again, especially with the holiday season closing in on us and my working a double 18 hour shift starting tonight at 4pm, Becky decided to see what was happening in the Twin Cities that might be worthy of our entertainment dollar.

A look at the movie listings quickly ruled that option out. Neither of us have any desire to see Halloween, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I would have nightmares for months if I went to see any horror flick. Much to Becky's dismay some Jane Austen movie was out of theaters just three weeks after entering them, and I breathed easier. The rest of the listings consisted of retread summer leftovers that left us uninspired.

A few moments later, Becky asked if the Twins were in town. I paused from my paper writing and figured they would be as they were just wrapping up a weekend series at home against the mighty Kansas City Royals. But more importantly, my wonderful wife was suggesting spending our mutual day off watching professional baseball. This doesn't happen. I must be dreaming.

She clicked around some more and confirmed that Minnesota was indeed playing an afternoon game. Wow, things are going really well as our chances of attending increased with this more desirable first pitch time. Then the deal maker.

Their opponent? The best team in baseball. The Cleveland Indians.

Fantastic news! Not only had my not particularly baseball inclined wife suggested Labor Day at the Metrodome, but my team, who I have not seen play in person since the 1988 season when Greg Swindell, Tom Candiotti, and Bud Black anchored The Tribe's rotation, were playing. A tremendous stroke of luck. I seem to only see Cleveland teams on the road these days, and I proudly wear Cleveland attire into visitor stadiums. I did this when the Browns played the Vikings a couple of years ago and wore as much brown and orange as I could. Naturally, we wound up in a sea of drunk purple and yellow. The fans, in good spirit, heckled me as the Browns put up a feeble fight. However, when I began being touched and they asked my name (I answered Sam, and that I drove all the way from Cleveland for this game), it was time to go. This Indians-Twins match-up allowed me to get decked out in Tribe gear. The stars were aligned and I and my 1997 World Series appearance (forgettable) hat were off to the Metrodome.

Now in April, I hosted a dude fest that included much Twins baseball, and I developed a favorite route and parking lot. Now with the I-35W bridge crumpled into the Mississippi River, I took alternate routes without incident. Most notably, no bridge fell.

The bridge collapse was an integral part of the pre-game festivities as the promotions department made up something called "First Responders Day" where EMTs, fire fighters, and police personnel were offered tickets to this game for just a dollar and then were paraded around the infield prior to the game, complete with emotional video footage. I suggested grabbing our Dome Dogs during this ten minute feelings-fest, but was quickly slapped on the arm and encouraged to instead clap for the fifty or so people who were on the field and waving with their kids. The Dome Dogs waited.

Oh yes, there was a baseball game, too. Both teams' best pitchers were on the mound with the very clean teethed Johan Santana representing the Twins and the very large bellied CC Sabathia taking the hill for Cleveland. I quickly realized the Eric Wedge was setting me up for disaster. Instead of placing our best players against the Twins' best pitcher, he decided on a starting line-up that consisted of Ben Franscico and Chris Gomez. No Grady Sizemore. No Jhonny Peralta. Ugh.

Also deserving of an "ugh," was the woman sitting directly next to Becky, who I should mention counterbalanced my Cleveland attire with a lovely pink Twins jersey selection. This woman decided to take advantage of the empty row ahead of us by stretching out her legs. Sure, no big deal. Then she took her shoes off and rested them on the seat. Not cool. That the drink holder on the back of the seat was mere inches from her disgusting, bare foot was really not cool. It never fails that Becky will sit next to an etiquette challenged individual. It's a miracle she ever goes out in public.

Somehow the Chris Gomez led charge put Cleveland ahead early, and CC was marvelous. 5-0 Cleveland. Yay Labor Day.

Photo from ABC 7 News, WJLA

Birds hold my car in the same regard I do

$700 oil change this go around. 2/3 of which is covered by the warranty, but still, $700? The next picture of my car you see may be that of my poop spread across it.

Goo!

High school was a grand time for rock music. I attended probably close to 20 shows in 2 years and spent a significant amount of my lawn mowing income on the likes of Green Day, Lenny Kravitz, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, and Finger 11. My concert going days have waned since my New Orleans experience concluded. Occasionally there is a show here and there that I attend, and one of those happened to be this past Friday evening.

The tremendous Minnesota State Fair kicked off this past Thursday, and it's an event that still confuses me. I can't say I've ever been particularly fond of anything "fair" but the people in Minnesota are absolutely fanatical about it. Every newscast and radio show will originate from the fairgrounds featuring fluff pieces on new born baby animals and the latest exhibit on display. The greatest fascination though is with the food there as people go Maurice Jones-Drew touchdown crazy for items on a stick. Even my wife, who won't go anywhere near these deep fried and speared concoctions, takes tremendous pride in the latest invention. From deep fried twinikies on a stick to teriaki ostrich to spam, all possible food go into the fryer and out on a stick for your heart stopping enjoyment. It's good fun, but this year's trip into the fairgrounds was not food related.

While I did enjoy a few food items, I enjoyed the entertainment even more. For the first time, I took in a show at the Grandstand. A massive set of bleachers erected in the heart of the fair, I was surprised at how many people it held as from the outside I did not expect such a seating capacity. It was no 100,000 people crammed for Metallica at Rockfest 2000, but still a surprisingly strong turn out for the headlining and apparently Elmo-loving Goo Goo Dolls.

But first there were the opening acts who deserve a few lines. I wasn't sure who the opening artist was and despite having since been told who it was a few times can't remember. It was a young woman named Cay Calililly or something who sings that one pop song that has a whole bunch of rhyming words. Vague, I know but so is pop music in general. Once she played her one semi-famous song I kinda remembered hearing it and how it went, and therein lies the definition of an opening act.

The second performance brought back VRC memories. For the first time in five years, the JR professed mega hit Sick Cycle Carousel singing Athletics Recreation Center rocking act Lifehouse took the stage. They were much much improved from that debacle in Indiana, and I attribute it to five more years to enhance their performance skills, new song development, and reflection on the scathing criticism they no doubt once read in the Torch.

With that said, they were most enjoyable. While a fine recorded song, I still just don't think "Hanging by a Moment" translates into a good live song. Fortunately, they disposed of this hugely played hit early in their set allowing their current hits "First Time" and "You and Me and All of the People" to anchor their performance. My favorite song of theirs from the evening was the unreleased single "The Joke," which was an incredibly catchy, well performed live track. I rarely remember songs that I had not heard previous to a concert, but this one was worthwhile. They also get points for a cover song, choosing the Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden" for a little reworking. It was a fine choice as was the fashion for the evening. Bassist Bryce Soderberg wore a CBS Sports t-shirt that was questionably a nod to the fine work of one Verne Lundquist and his sweaters.

The main event used their much earlier single "Long Way Down" to kick off the performance. I appreciated the step back in time as most know and understandably enjoy the more recent efforts like "Slide," "Broadway," "Iris," and "Stay With You" all of which were great Friday night. Having enjoyed the Goo Goo Dolls "Live in Buffalo" album from a couple years ago, I was hoping to hear "Black Balloon" as it was a standout on the aforementioned disc. I was pleased when in fact it was in the track listing and was accompanied with humongous black balloons that rained down upon concert goers. It was a neat visual spectacle to compliment the fantastic song, and by golly in a nod to my five-year-old inner self, I got to hit a black balloon high into the sky. Whee!

The show was delightful to be sure, but it was not without it's downfalls. The most glaring of which is an over indulgence of Robby Takac's singing. I understand the obligatory one or two Robby Takac songs per album, and I can happily press fast forward through them. However, that option is unavailable at a live show and when the bassist sings (and I recently learned that he was the original lead singer of the band), it's not good. When he sings four songs, it creates a big black hole in the middle of the set. Upon his image being placed on the big screen, Becky turned to me and commented that this man was uglier than the lead singer of Nickelback, which I found to be immensely funny and very true. Upon his vocals leaving the Grandstand speakers, Becky again turned to me and asked, "What was that crap?" which I also found to be immensely funny and very true.

Lead singer and Catholic raised (boo-yah!) Johnny Rzeznik while light years better than Takac ran into a problem that no doubt haunts all big bands with a great many singles. Some are going to be left out, which will disappoint fans of that one particular song. The Goo opted to pass on "Better Days," which was a little surprising considering they played three non-singles from their most recent album. Becky later mentioned that it would have made for a nice emotionally laced encore had they tied the song into the recent bridge disaster, and I would agree. Instead, they wrapped up the show with a song that I did not recognize, which is tough since I know most every song from their last four albums. It was a fine song, but c'mon let's end with a bang.

At the conclusion of the performance, I was prepared to make my way out of the Grandstand when shots were fired. Ok, so they were really fireworks, but I wasn't expecting them and thought we all might be dead. Fortunately my quick thinking reverted back to firework safety tips, and I sat down and enjoyed the colorful conclusion to the evening's festivities.

Photo from MuppetCentral

The day the computer died - again

All was going well. After working 11 of 12 days, Sunday was my third day in a row off from work. I took a 2+ hour nap - a favorite Sunday afternoon activity of mine. Upon awaking, I went down to my computer to prepare for the VUFSA football draft, but two hours later. I clicked around and thought I should see what's on TV, so I clicked on my link to TV listings when my computer froze. That's fairly unusual as this computer never freezes.

I powered off and turned it back on to reboot. Before Windows came up, a very loud clicking noise, reminiscent of that noise Korn has in all of its songs began coming from the laptop. Becky wanted to know what I was tapping. I wasn't tapping, but my computer was tapping out. It died. Again.

The keyboard has been replaced twice, a battery once, my second USB port hasn't worked in 6 months, and a hard drive wipe was necessary when one of those automatic Microsoft Windows downloads paralyzed my beloved laptop. So, my computer was again down for the count.

With two hours before the VUFSA draft, time was of the essence. I raced to my local Best Buy and that Geek Squad thing they've got going on over there. I described my plight, and the tech said that it sounded like the hard drive was the problem. He turned it on, heard the clicking, and uttered the words, "Oh, that's not good."

Indeed it was not. Close to $300 later, they removed the old hard drive, and installed a new one, and sent me on my way. The money sucks, but frankly any amount is worth it. I have no possession more valuable to me than my computer. I can do without TV and radio but probably would shrivel up and die without my laptop. Although, if you combine the amount of money I spend repairing my computer and my car (speaking of which I have an oil change coming up next week - whoo wee!), I could probably afford a small island in the Caribbean.

I now have my computer back, but it's only kinda back. I lost everything on the hard drive and had to reinstall every program. The losing everything wasn't that big of a deal since I backed up my computer, conveniently, in May of 2005. Let this be a reminder to be a bit more studious about maintenance issues than yours truly who waiting a tad too long - as in 27 months too long - to do so.

The programs aren't that big of a deal since I have all of those - except I can't seem to find my anti-virus software so please no attachments for awhile. Windows defaulted to a green pasture for a background, and I haven't used Internet Explorer in years. The Internet connection now flips off every 10 minutes or so and I have to get up and manually unplug the modem and replug it in to get my computer and the Internet to chat. Additionally, I lost all my Internet bookmarks. If it wasn’t a simple address or one I had linked to here from Wolfden V, I won’t be visiting it again any time soon (should you have an address that would be meaningful or not linked directly on this page, please resend it over). Lastly, my computer no longer can tolerate a wireless mouse so I'm down to the touch pad - whose left click button doesn't work. If this were a human being, we'd be talking about being on life support with a feeding tube and a guardian angel propping up the head.

Basically I'm running on a paper clip and some thread over here. It's not like I just signed up for an on-line university or anything.

Photo from Techtickerblog

Prejudiced

I had an interesting conversation the other day about prejudice and racial profiling. I have found it to be a difficult topic to converse about for fear that I would somehow say something that would result in a civil rights movement should it come out wrong.

For the area in which I tread is that of demographics which is open game. Advertising does it regularly. Kids' shows are littered with cereal commercials and play-doh. Football games feature beer commercials and trucks. My beloved Price Is Right runs non-stop Scooter Store and life insurance ads. While advertisers realize not everyone who is watching football drives trucks or that I as a healthy, two-legged, twenty-five year old needs a motorized vehicle (though it would be fun), they know that the groups of people who watch these particular shows are the ones most likely to need/want/be interested in these products. It's a stereotype, and I think it's safe to say no one has any issue with this.

But the topic of conversation concerned shoplifting at my store. My Walgreens is located directly adjacent to a seven story retirement home/assisted living complex. Without question, everyone wins. They keep us in business, and we provide them their daily reason to get out an exercise. That said, the primary demographic for my store is 150 years old and using some contraption (walker, cane, wheelchair) to get around.

Our area is also predominantly caucasian. This is not to say that all our customers are white, simply the majority of them are. However, the majority of shoplifters have been black. It doesn't mean that all black people steal from my store, or that white people do not, but rather the majority of the incidents have been with young, black males.

And so, the question that was posed, and that I now pose to the viewers of this board, is it wrong to keep an extra eye out if a suspicious, young, black male is walking the aisles?

I realize that trouble here is the word "suspicious" as if it implies all young, black males are suspicious. Indeed, this is not the case but I can tell you from experience that shoplifters tend to stand out like sore thumbs - shifty eyes, no contact with anyone, move quickly, talk too much when talked to, and show signs of being nervous. I can also speak from experience when I say the majority of people who shoplift and show these signs happen to be black. Would it then make me prejudiced and create racial disharmony for extra observation of a black man?

I was mixed on the issue myself. On the one hand, having heard the police pull over someone for "driving while black," I naturally repulse this negative connotation. On the other hand, if a black man punches me in the face nine times, is it wrong to duck on the tenth? I don't know. I simply found it an interesting topic, which hopefully creates some conversation here.

Photo from Wikimedia

Since when?

Did you know that recent APA requirements for paper writing have banished the two spaces behind the period? Did you know that I cannot quickly break this habit of probably ten to fifteen years simply because some nerdy grammar guru decided that one space and not two was more to his liking? Do you have any idea how many sentence I am going to have to go back and change in this fifteen page paper because I automatically tap my space bar twice at the conclusion of each sentence?

To recap:

This MBA program has reaffirmed my hatred of animated emoticons and caused further distress by altering my decade old typing habits. That and I can tell you exactly why Global Communication makes wise business decisions despite communicating them poorly - they used two spaces after their sentences instead of one and then laid off employees using :(