A disgruntled voter

In looking at my infrequent posts over the last year while I wrap up this MBA program, I realize that a good number of them have been political in nature. While we are in the midst of a world changing election cycle, I kinda surprised myself, nonetheless, by how much I had posted about this Presidential race. I suppose I have done so because I'm older and wiser and the real world seems to matter more now that I understand it a bit better and it affects me more. Even so, I still can't get fired up about candidates and in particular these conventions.

I have seen some pieces of the conventions and generally speaking I'm unimpressed. I have a few favorites that I like and I could listen to (where the hell is Tom Tancredo, by the way?), but overall these conventions are disappointing. Record numbers have tuned into Barack Obama and Sarah Palin, but I find their handling of this big stage fairly lackluster.

At the pinnacle moment, the grand pronunciation as the greatest person this political party can offer, these candidates continue to rely on propaganda, cutesy oratory and silly name calling. One person has to bring up community organizer and then the other brings up small town mayorship, which while relevant has to be done in a spiteful manner. Why not define what you stand for, explain differences, and let the public decide from there? Is that so much to ask?

For example, let's take the Iraq War.

Pro for war:
-Freeing Iraqi people held under oppressive rule for years
-Fighting terrorism by eliminating a previous save haven for them
-Promoting democracy, a long standing ideal America fights for

Con for war:
-Expensive, driving the country into even greater debt and we've seen the effect too much consumer credit has had on the stock market, let alone things like Medicare and Social Security
-Death toll while down is still high for the overall project
-Misdirected focus where we should be fighting in Afghanistan or not at all if you are peace activist

Look, I think both sides have incredibly persuasive arguments. Presented before me, I know which way I choose and what candidate best represents what I think should happen. Is it so much to ask that the issue is presented this way instead of through black and white TV advertisements that say absolutely nothing while bashing the opponent?

Pro for abortion:
-The Supreme Court a long respected entity has ruled this to be a legal right for a woman to do as she wants with her unborn child.

Con for abortion:
-The Supreme Court ruled erroneously and that life begins at conception.

One candidate falls on one side of this argument and one candidate falls on the other. Would it be so much to ask for a little chart at these conventions that actually say (gasp!) what they believe in and what action they would take when presented with this dilemma? I mean the big American flag in the background, flowing in the breeze that for some reason is supposed to make me think the person is more patriotic (?) is cute, but how about something with substance. How about a plan? A belief? Sure there is some of that in there but the I will do this vague action (wild cheering) while my opponent will do this unthinkable counteraction (voracious booing). You know, there just might be a viable argument for both sides and disrespecting the other side doesn't make yours more right.

Pro for tax cuts:
-People keep more of their own money to spend it as they choose

Con for tax cuts:
-Needed and necessary government programs better the lives of many Americans

Is it so hard to objectively take a step back, present why you think you are for or against tax cuts, and believe that people will move to your side and vote for you because of this. Or do we need 27 speeches building up how wonderful of an American you are because you have ascended to this point. Why not have 27 speeches outlining 27 tangible, measurable things you want to do in office?

As much fun as it is to fill an arena with people who think like you and support you, are all the cross-shots necessary? Are candidates so insecure that they have to take pot shots at one another instead of selling themselves and their values?

The worst movie I have ever seen was undoubtedly Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore. I eagerly rented the film wanting to see the arguments and the reasons why the Bush regime had done wrong. I wanted to learn something. Instead, I got cheesy, way over the top presentation of some stuff that might have been worthwhile but was so condescending and immature in presentation that I turned it off halfway through. Instead of presenting facts and making an argument, I got a warped, outrageous feature that had basis in something but ended with nothing. I feel similarly about these conventions. There's so much potential and so much inspiration to be had, but these feature presentations are just goofy. I guess I'm just a black and white kinda guy.

I look at these conventions and wonder if some circumstances were reversed if they wouldn't still be tearing at one another's throats. I watched a brilliant Daily Show package courtesy of one Eli Gieryna's blog that shows the asinine hypocrisy involved in these political rumblings. In one, Bill O'Reilly defends to the end the right to privacy of Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and how we should support her and her decision to keep the child. The next clip shows O'Reilly going to town on the embarrassing situation of Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy and that the parents are unequivocally to blame for teen pregnancy (complete with disgusted look). It's worth the click over to watch the clip.

It's pathetic these double standards. And I don't believe for a second that it's limited to Republicans. If roles were reversed, I'm sure we'd be hearing the same pandering and flip-flopping from the other side. It's this crap and these people that keep me, and I think a lot of the indifferent Americans, from getting excited about politics and getting involved. For some reason, there is this continual urge to blindly believe in whatever your guy says or does. Why can't you disagree with something that your preferred candidate believes in? Isn't it ok to be an Obama supporter an be concerned about his lack of leadership experience? Isn't it ok to be a Republican who thinks McCain overlaps some of Bush's system a little too much? Could their be some reasonable dissent at these conventions?

Dissent does lead me to a brief about the embarrassment that these crazy protesters have brought to themselves. I am all for disagreement in opinion, and I was asking for it in the last paragraph. I love a good political discussion, but why is the best way to speak your minority voice to break the law, disrespect others, and make an ass of yourself? Those getting thrown out of the Xcel Center tonight and those throwing feces on one another on the Capitol lawn the last few days are pathetic. The distorted perspective of the First Amendment is so far backwards that they have no concept of what it is or what it means. A basic civics class or better yet an Amendment law class will more than educate you on basic restrictions on the First Amendment, which yes, does include bottling your pee and throwing it through police car windows. Nothing makes a valid point quite like violence and chaos. A proud moment for you and your family, dear protesters.

And so the conventions have ended and both sides had their crazies dressed in red, white, and blue. The speeches have been filed and the "clever" remarks about the other side have been made. Vague suggestions on what the next four years should be are floating around. And perhaps for fear of turning off that oh so critical undecided voter, little to nothing definitive is said, certainly nothing we will hold our next President to. Instead, keynote speeches call out the opponent for something of some substance the other said. Maybe I'm boring, but I don't subscribe to this one-sided meandering and hollow propaganda. No, I'm not swayed by "change" and no I don't believe a "maverick" is going to make things significantly different. Why would I? Instead of saying something, anything, I hear the repetitive tooting of one's own horn and the spitting on the other.

Tom Tancredo wouldn't have stood for this shit.

Good riddance, Saturn

If we could, let's have a moment of silence for my recently departed Saturn. Ok, that's plenty.

Enter, the brand new 2008 Chevy Malibu. I have been introduced to such previously foreign concepts as "power windows" and "CD player." These luxuries are marvelous. To try out these and other new fangled contraptions (butt warmers!) Becky and I drove 2 hours to Duluth for a pretty picture of my new car with a beautiful Lake Superior back drop. Welcome to the family, Mr. Malibu. May your oil changes be far less expensive.

Bernie Mac and CNN

The unfortunate passing of Bernie Mac hit major news outlets today. I saw it upon a morning viewing of CNN. CNN's entertainment page, pasted below, had the following screen shot.



I realize that it's tiny, and I'm not smart enough to make it bigger. However, if you click on the image it will blow up and you'll see that on the list of headlines the very last one has "Spokeswoman: Bernie Mac responding well."

Some 7 hours after I originally saw it, it's still there. And now it's worthy of a blog post. Might want to take that down, CNN.

CHANGE! Obama is behind this post.

Admittedly, I don't get the bumper sticker thing. I just don't have anything that I feel so strongly about that a little two inch by six inch sticker on my crapmobile is the best way to communicate my love to the masses. I mean, I am the only individual in the world boasting a trendy 2004 Source 95.1 orange window cling, but I use that to find my car in a parking lot as much as I use it to advertise my beloved college radio station that no one in Minnesota is within 500 miles to hear.

That being said, can we please retire the 2004 political bumper stickers? None of the four men featured on these displays of election fanaticism are running for office this time around. Let's move on.

Get a nice new Obama "Change" sticker or a McCain "Experience" sticker, or whatever buzzword best sums up a lifetime of work and their future of rule. While I never ever would put a political bumper sticker on my own vehicle, can I least get the United States behind me so that I can at least view fresh new material? What happens when these folks so far behind the times still haven't changed over come November? Then they'll be two elections behind and nothing says uncool like that.

Do your part, change over your bumper sticker today.

RIP: 2008 Cleveland Indians

I take a little extended Fourth of July holiday with very little access to the outside world (Missouri will do that to you) and even less yet of the sports sphere. Much to my surprise, I return to find the underachieving Cleveland Indians a shadow of their former selves. Joe Blows and CC No Periods are off the team. Woo! The team gave up halfway through 2008 and just like that we're done. I suppose things are back to normal. Man, one game away from the World Series seems like such a long time ago.

So the question definitely turns to what the hell happened?

The only thing keeping me from answering "everything" is Grady Sizemore. The man is marvelous and he's better this year than last. Unfortunately, he's the only thing that has improved has nearly every other position has seen a decrease in performance. You'll have to double the 2008 numbers to get a semi accurate comparison as we are now halfway through the the season. Around the horn:

Catcher, Victor Martinez:
2007: .374 OBP, 25 HRs, 114 RBIs
2008: .332 OBP, 0 HR, 21 RBIs, and DLed (198 at bats)

First Base, Ryan Garko:
2007: .359 OBP, 21 HRs, 61 RBIs
2008: .324 OBP, 6 HRs, 40 RBIs

Second Base, Asdrubal Cabrera*:
2007: .354 OBP, 30 runs, 3 HRs, 22 RBIs
2008: .282 OBP, 16 runs, 1 HR, 14 RBIs
*Asdrubal came up to the majors halfway through the season last year and managed 159 at bats before the season ended. This year, he had 158 at bats before heading back to the minors to stop sucking. The at bats are almost exactly perfect for our comparison.

Shortstop, Jhonny Peralta*:
2007: .341 OBP, 21 HRs, 72 RBIs
2008: .298 OBP, 13 HRs, 38 RBIs
*Jhonny's power numbers are about on par from last year which while unspectacular are seemingly immune from the Cleveland suckfest. Unfortunately, the .50 drop in OBP (sub .300!) was not.

Third Base, Casey Blake*:
2007: .339 OBP, 16 HRs, 78 RBIs
2008: .355 OBP, 8 HRs, 47 RBIs
*Casey ever the average third baseman has seen a tad bit of improvement. The problem being that most of the improvement came in the last 30 days when Cleveland was already playing catch up. As late as June 6th, his OBP was .315.

Right Field, Franklin Gutierrez:
2007: .318 OBP, 13 HRs, 36 RBIs
2008: .269 OBP, 3 HRs, 18 RBIs
*Franklin, like Asdrubal, was a midseason call-up last year. He had 271 at bats last season and has already had 202 this year. Oh yes, he's also hitless in his last 28 at bats.

Left Field, Who Knows:
Kenny Lofton, Trot Nixon, Ed Schillinger, Jason Michaels, and David Dellucci all occupied space here in 2007. This year, Lofton and Nixon were not resigned, Michaels was released midseason, and Dellucci is batting .223 having given way to Ben Franscisco.

Starting Pitcher, Paul Byrd:
2007: 15-8, 4.59 ERA, 27 HRs allowed
2008: 3-10, 5.53 ERA, 23 HRs allowed

Relief Pitcher, Rafael Betancourt:
2007: 1.47 ERA, 0.76 WHIP, 4 HRs allowed, .183 Opponent's batting average
2008: 5.67 ERA, 1.46 WHIP, 7 HRs allowed, .293 Opponent's batting average

Not to say anything of Fausto Carmona's injury and Joe Borowski's release. I have no idea what caused this cataclysmic decline in the entire team, but I'm going to speak in hyperbole and say that it is in fact the greatest collapse of any single team from one year to the next in the history of the world. The numbers are not close. They are all horrible. Cleveland sucks.

The good news is the last time we traded an overweight pitcher for prospects, Cleveland ended up with Grady Sizemore and Cliff Lee - the only two players worth a damn on this roster. Oh, and Joe Borowski will never pitch again for the Indians. Begin the Jeff Weaver era!

A quick political lesson

One of the joys at working retail is that I do get to work with a lot of very cool youngsters just entering the real world. These folk are graduating high school, deciding whether or not to go to college, making choices regarding careers, and occasionally no showing for their shift. Many of them also are learning about the political world with this being the first Presidential election they have the opportunity to cast a vote. It was against this backdrop that I had a conversation recently at work with one such youngster.

Photo Tech: "Drew, this sucks!"

Drew: "What?"

Photo Tech: "Look at my paycheck. Taxes always eat a huge hole in what I take home."

Drew: "Vote Republican."

Photo Tech: "What? Why?"

Drew: "Generally speaking, Democrats love to share. They want everyone to have every opportunity to be equal. The problem of course is that someone has to pay for it, which is why you have a huge amount taken out of your paycheck. They are nice people, but they are expensive people. On the other hand, Republicans don't play well with others. They want people to keep what they earn and want individual accountability to reign. The problem of course, is a separation of wealthy and poor not improving, and they are thought of 'protectors of the rich' because they don't want to tax everyone, instead letting people keep what they earn. They are nice people, they just don't want to spread wealth everywhere."

Photo Tech: "Oh."

Drew: "Make sense?"

Photo Tech: "I'm feeling Republican today."

Photo from liumfamily.com

The Handyman

My father is a great man and has many skills and traits which I have inherited and try to emulate. One of them, however, is not household maintenance and repairs. My dad built me a two tiered water bed with dresser built into it and a play tunnel underneath it - without using a single nail. The guy is an engineer and constructs things for fun, and his general knowledge and usefulness around the house is impressive.

I have none of that. A nail falls out of a board? I need help. Air filters need replacing? It's a half a day project. Picture needs hanging? I don't even try anymore after scarring too many walls.

This part of Minnesota has recently been inundated by big box hardware stores, as I have two Menards, three Home Depots, and two Lowes within a 10 minute radius. I fear these stores and have an anxiety attack just driving by them. Huge monstrosities with millions of parts, pieces, and miscellaneous stuff that I don't know what they do or how to use them. Generally, I step foot in these retailers once a year, when Becky wants to see their Christmas stuff.

Yesterday should have been a disaster. I am home alone as Becky is off at an opthalmic conference out of town, which set the stage for my greatest home repair triumph of all time.

The morning started off innocently enough. I woke up, showered, checked the old fantasy baseball team (still stretching for third), and ate some breakfast. I casually strolled into our downstairs half bath, used the facilities, and went to flush the toilet. I pulled down the handle just as I have for the last three years when all of a sudden I hear a massive SNAP. The toilet does not flush and the handle is dangling from the hole.

My first reaction was to panic. Home alone with no ability to flush the toilet, I might as well board up the door and never return. That plan of action, of course, was foolish. I can't use a hammer and nails let alone deal with acquiring the boards. So, after "some time" I built up the courage to attack the problem. I dismantled the top of the toilet and discovered a fairly simplistic lever and chain mechanism that created the oh so familiar toilet flush. I studied the pieces and even played with the plunger thingy inside until I felt confident in my understanding of how this thing works.

The next step involved replacement parts. Already thinking of having to go inside of these massive stores was causing me shortness of breath. Again, after "some time" I took the plunge, hopped in the $aturn, and picked Menards as my behemoth hardware store of choice. I pulled into the lot and set foot inside trying desperately to look confident enough to know what I was doing so as to avoid the sales clerk who would no doubt know me to be a fraud. A quick reconnaissance of the hanging signs revealed bathroom supplies to the left. I scanned for clerks, avoided the Charleys, and made my way into the four aisles with the much needed ammo required for the toilet.

Menards features no fewer than fifteen different arm and levers for toilets. Damn it. I didn't measure, and only because I have lived there for three years did the fact that the lever was even white somehow register in my forgetful brain. In choosing white levers, I eliminated half the possibilities. So many of them looked so similar. What to do? Wait a moment! Some of them looked a little too similar. Relying on my retail background, I flipped over the package and cross checked UPCs. Just as I suspected! Multiple facings of the same item! Score one for the Walgreens assistant!

I narrowed down the selection to two. One a five dollar arm and lever and the other a three dollar. They looked pretty similar, and I considered buying both to avoid making another trip back. I declined this thought pattern, instead opting to roll the dice on the latter one, gambling that this would be my one and only trip to Menards. I snagged the repair piece and headed to check out.

I again surveyed the land for sales clerks, and I successfully avoided all of them. This excitement though, left me parched and I succumbed to an impulse purchase of a bottle of Dasani near the front check out. I paid and ran like hell back to the $aturn.

Once home, I knew I had not the energy to continue the process. I napped. I cleaned. I ate. I did everything but finish the project. 4pm rolls around, approximately 6 hours after the initial crisis began, and I realized now was the time.

First, I detached what remained of the old lever and chain. My hands got wet, which frightened me that somehow this water was contaminated or something, but I strengthened my resolve in conjuring up memories of having scooped poop off the Walgreens' sales floor. This was nothing.

Second, I had to attach the new lever and chain. A feisty bastard, the hook connecting the chain to the lever was an elusive match. I inadvertently flushed the toilet twice in fiddling with the unifying piece. Eventually, I succeeded. All was one. All looked right.

This, though, was too easy. I knew something had to be in error. There was only one way to know for sure if my half a day, four dollar home repair was a success. I had to use the toilet. So, I did. I stood up took a deep breath and pulled the lever, watching the swirl with greater pride than ever before. The victorious pee left me. I had won.

Subsequently, I went to my local Blockbuster and rented Rambo. I feel manly.

Photo from thisoldhouse.com