Monday, February 4, 2008

Wide Right! Wide Right! New York Giants Win Super Bowl


It is done. It's over. Everyone go home.

The Super Bowl has wrapped up, but what would one of the greatest upsets in the history of sports be without a small-time blog offering some perspective and reflection? (Rhetorical of course)

Let's start with the game (hosted in my school's stadium...no not Brown Field HA!- The University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona) itself. The low-scoring, defensive minded effort stunned everyone. Any predictions had the Patriots nearing 100 points and those that did pick the Giants had them around 35 to offset the greatest offense in the history of the NFL. Despite both teams scoring on their opening drives, New England and New York barely managed to break 30 points combined.

I confess I was pulling for the Patriots simply for the fact that Belichick used to coach the Browns, and that in turn is the closest my beloved Cleveland franchise has ever been to Super Sunday. Sure he's a poorly dressed, socially deficient cheater, but damn it, he won our last playoff game way back in 1912.

I can't say that I was devastated with the outcome, as I was really more ho-hum than my Belichick allegiance might suggest, but it was disappointing. The wheels had slowly been falling off the New England wagon for some time with those 50 point blowouts from the early weeks of the season becoming a distant memory by the time regular season near losses to Baltimore and New York rounded out the campaign. Come the playoffs, Brady and Company weren't looking as sharp, and finally the rest of the league caught up to them.

The Giants' dominance of the Patriots' offensive line has to be the game storyline. New England could not run the football (Maroney 14 carries 36 yards) and Brady had little time to throw the football. Even when Terrific Tom did have a chance, he looked horrible and far from the 3-time Super Bowl experienced quarterback. He was throwing five feet over receivers' heads on quick outs. Hell, one throw one a deep ball to Moss was so far under thrown that it didn't even land on camera, which is to say nothing of the ball that bounced to a receiver in the first half. I don't know that it was an ankle issue, but Brady looked like I would have expected Eli Manning to have.

Speaking of Lil Eli, he's one lucky QB. I am not at all jumping on the "he won the big game and now he's an elite quarterback" bandwagon. The crap that he was throwing up on that final drive was terrible. Back foot, wobbling ducks throughout the final drive that should have been intercepted about three times over some how, some way fell into the arms of his receivers. That Tyree kid made an exceptional catch, much like Asante Samuel did not. The Giants did have a secret weapon, and it's unquestionably what led them to victory.

Bananas!

A hard hitting sideline report informed viewers that the Giants had a crate of bananas delivered to them at halftime. Fox cameras soon found a bunch of bananas sitting on the bench waiting for consumption. The report revealed that New York was cramping and the potassium rich fruit would save the day.

What the hell? Banana Bowl?

After the game, ESPN covered the game from all angles including Keyshawn Johnson's neck. A boa constrictor (may have been an effeminate scarf) wrapped its body around Johnson neck. If I were the snake, I probably would have slithered toward Emmitt Smith and his subject-verb challenged sentences, but hey, to each their own.

The final segment I saw on Sportscenter had 1972 Miami Dolphin running back Mercury Morris bawling and boasting over the outcome. Look, if I were a member of that team, I would be happy that my record remained unbroken as one of the greatest in sports. But, come on, if it falls it falls. It's been nearly 40 years, and another team sharing the spotlight dampens not the original accomplishment. Clinging a little too hard, Mercury. Time to let it go, man.

Finally, Becky liked the horsie commercials. I preferred the Charlie Brown balloon. Still waiting for Terry Tate's return.


Photo from Dailyillini.com and Neobeans.com

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Happy Birthday


Wolfden V is one year old today. To celebrate, I offer you this no doubt delicious dark chocolate (is there any other kind?) cake.

Photo from j and l products.com

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

When I grow up I want to be a weather man



Oddly enough, Valpo's meteorology program is one of the primary reasons I went to that school. Now, I merely cut and paste colorful pictures revealing obscene temperature swings and brutal cold. Not like there's a Walgreens truck to unload or anything. And it's not like it was freaking 45 degrees the other day.

Images from weather.com

Monday, January 28, 2008

I took a dump today!

It was THIS big!

(Standing ovation)

I never understood of the State of the Union's repeated interruption for unnecessary applause. I also do not understand how people in the House chamber can fall asleep when the most powerful man in the world addresses them. Furthermore, I do not understand a Democratic response that includes "let's get a good night's sleep."

I just don't get politics. It could be that I'm still trying to figure out who the President is after Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and now George W. Bush have all made a play for the position. Where's Tornado Tom when you need him?

Photo from State.gov

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Baby Primary

Personally, I think this would have been a marvelous time for a sticker that says "don't abort me" to reveal itself on the baby's behind leading to both a comical reference to the diaper's contents as well as an awkward photo for Hillary.

Anyway, I am not above plugging another website when it deserves special attention. While I hate to do it too frequently lest I show my own unoriginality and inability to deliver fresh new content, sometimes a site simply deserves a link.

The gentlemen to whom I will now send you shows the same irreverence for this election that I thus far have. The gist of the piece is that the he lives in New Hampshire and made it a point to have his new born baby daughter photographed with every major Presidential candidate. While someday it will be a great picture for the little one to be held by the future President, the father's willingness to thrust his child through a crowd adorned in whatever candidate's stickers the situation warrants strikes me as absolutely terrific. Drew Junior - in your unconceived state - beware.

Photo from Slate.com

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The United States falls in political coup

So just a few days ago, I made a post congratulating the next President of the United States Barack Obama and his second in command Mike Huckabee. So much has changed...

All was well with the good ol' U.S. of A. Times were peaceful, the streets safer, and the harvest plentiful. The country - nay the world - was grateful to the meaningless state of Iowa for properly taking it upon themselves and choosing the leaders of the free world. The campaign commercials subsided and news programs struggled to find stories to fill the time allotted, eventually opting to move toward bears falling out of trees.

But now, a mere five days later, the world is in chaos. Invest in gold and grab your shotguns, we've got an old fashioned political coup. Seems that always feisty state of New Hampshire rejected Iowa (go figure) and decided to elect their own Presidents. Cars are driving into one another in horrific accidents, the fertile fields are flooding, geese are flocking to Cooperstown, and worst of all, no one can sell a home!

These are troubled times, my friends. We've taken the greatest social evolution for granted as no longer can we bank on a peaceful transfer of power. Beware the McCain-Clinton cyborg army and take solace in the one remaining constant in the universe.

Photo from CNN