Next time they say they are the most trusted name in news

Just remember that they had this headline:

Did Bush make Henry his BFF?

Stunning.

Off and running

I have begun my first on-line course through the University of Phoenix, and so far mixed results.

• I excelled at my first assignment. What was it you ask? Post a hello message introducing yourself to your classmates. Using my voy-board savvy, I navigated my way to successfully fulfilling this requirement. That's right, I'm going to have a masters degree at the end of this.
• Major negative when Comcast cut my cable lines resulting in a 36 hour blackout of all things cable TV and cable Internet. While I enjoy listening to the radio and CDs, I kind of sort of need to be on-line for the next couple of years so as to not flush tuition dollars down the drain in an unattended Internet class.
• My second assignment went well enough, though not without road bumps. My initial "Welcome to University of Phoenix" e-mail mentioned that we should write an autobiography as a means to introduce yourself to the class. There was no suggested length and as such went to work. I felt I did a nice tidy job that was coherent and somewhat witty. Without breaking a sweat I wrapped up 750 words. A few days later, I downloaded the syllabus which suggested a snappy 300 words. I adapted by throwing in more sentences explaining my plight and also suggesting I was incredibly narcissistic. Perhaps I will be forgiven for my overachieving.
• Reading other classmates' posts and responding to them in an on-going conversation is a large part of the class, which I occasionally (frequently) have a difficult time with. People have a variety of schedules which leads to some odd progressions as someone is very active in the chat only to disappear for a couple of days and then pick up where they leave off. Additionally, people's writing talents and abilities are all over the board. Some are far easier to read than others. So it goes.
  

A Major Announcement: I'm not smart enough

When I began this blog, I was unsure of the direction it would take or even how long it would last. The last six months have been most pleasurable as I have eagerly looked forward to writing a daily post. I still do, except now I'm not smart enough.

Today is my first day of school. I have enrolled at the University of Phoenix (Arizona rocks!) in pursuit of my Masters in Business Administration. The completely on-line classwork will allow me to continue my full time work at Walgreens while simultaneously striving toward my future degree. Unfortunately, I probably will not make the football team.

What I hope to achieve is an end to working Christmases, Thanksgivings, Labor Days, and two out of three weekends. Walgreens has been very good to me, but the nature of the retail beast is it's shitty hours. I have not decided what I will do post MBA; it may or may not include Walgreens. What I want, though, is a light at the end of the tunnel, something at the end of which I can either take my education elsewhere for better hours and pay, or new doors to open within my current company. In today's competitive business world, I do not think I seek too much.

However, this announcement and development will require some sacrifice. 45-50 hours of week at work will slowly mold into 60 as we approach another retail, holiday season, and now with a full-time slate of classwork, some things will not make the cut. Sadly, what this leads into is this blog. It's not going away or dying. It merely will not be updated on a daily basis. It remains to be seen how grueling or not the classwork will be, but the time it takes to read a newspaper, find something interesting, write something about it, and then dig up a picture will most likely conflict with my new quest. As such, I hope to be posting at a minimum once a week and a maximum of three or four times. Bear with the irregularity, and you will likely be rewarded with witty commentary and inspirational photos. I felt an explanation necessary as to why, after six months of regular, daily posts, I will become irregular (and fat).

A new host!

The Price is Right's search for a new host is over! Huzzah!

There's something gratifying knowing that even though it wasn't yours truly, the producers were thinking of me in signing a Cleveland Indians fan named Drew.

As for how I feel about it, I'm fine with it. I do not envy anyone who has to follow in the legend's footsteps as the comparisons will be overwhelming and distracting. I hope that the new host isn't bogged down in the "Barker did it this way" debates. But most of all, I am relieved that the show avoided the worst contender as I would have had a hard time watching the show if she was in charge of it.Publish Post

What happens in Vegas is posted here

Return! I have returned! There's a warm feeling knowing that four people missed me.

But I digress, we need stories and pictures! I am here to provide them as part of your Monday entertainment. I shall discuss the highlights.

-I have long wanted to stay at the Bellagio Hotel and this trip, we did. I spent more money than I should have but went all out and requested the lake view room so as to enjoy the fountain show. Up 21 floors and practically dead center, we had our entertainment in the form of synchronized fountain dancing - the newest Olympic sport - every 15 minutes. The actual view from our hotel room:

-Las Vegas boasts a large number of big women in small dresses. Surely, Chris Farley's "fat guy in a little coat" shtick originated from this phenomenon. I shall spare you any pictures.

-Our Friday night entertainment came in the form of Danny Gans, Las Vegas' 10-time entertainer of the year. To me, that's remarkable. To think of all the shows the city boasts and then pick the same one ten times in a row as the best one must say something. As such, we investigated this Danny Gans and found him to be entertaining enough, but not the amazing spectacle he is described to be. He does a signing/imitating performance and when Homer Simpson and Daniel Powter are indistinguishable, I have to disagree with the lofty moniker.

-What our true Friday night entertainment was to be was instead located back in our home hotel of the Bellagio. Las Vegas' shady side no doubt includes its strip joints and escort services, a side of the city that while present was never really visible to yours truly who finds comfort in nickel slots and 11pm bed times (party animal, woo!). However, I was exposed to a little of this dark side post-Danny Gans. I regrettably do not have a picture of the scene as I desperately wanted a picture of these two women questionably dressed (well not really dressed), sharing a drink with a very sad looking man on a couch facing the casino floor. The man had his arm around one of the women, and the other in the most over the top way bursts out, "Let's drink!"

I turned to Becky and said that I had missed out on the blog post of the year as the photo of these three with the caption, "One of these three is paying for sex. Guess who," would have made you all laugh. Instead, you get a lame description and the awful reality that I actually talk about my blog while on vacation.

-Earlier on Friday, Becky and I took to the slots in an effort to win fame and fortune. As mentioned, I am not very daring and as such took comfort on a stool in front of a nickel slot. Unfortunately, I am at work right now as I failed to win the mega-progressive jackpot. Becky, however, did do reasonably well winning the single greatest total I have ever seen. With a "7-7-Double Diamond" on line 3, she captured over 160 credits. I realize we are dealing with weenie amounts, but I assure you that $8.00 is a lot of nickels.

-Outside of the fantastic room, the highlight of the trip came Thursday evening. We headed over to the New York New York casino to celebrate our second year of wedded bliss with an amazing steak dinner. Followers of the site probably realize that I have developed a refined taste for the finer dining establishments. Gallagher's proved to be worthy of my taste buds as it was among the best meals I have ever eaten. Comparable to Jester's sunset strips. Ok, a tad better.

-Sadly, all of the dining was not quite up to this high standard. For our final meal in Las Vegas, we opted for Italian and as such figured it fitting to visit The Venetian for the occasion. As such, we braved the 110 degree heat to make our way for the canal themed casino. Once there, we previewed a series of menus before deciding on Postrio. Becky in particular had found a dish that looked pleasing. A chicken meal featuring gnocchi in a natural, light sauce captured her attention. After discussing the details with the waiter, she decided that was the one for her and eagerly anticipated its arrival. What the waitor returned with was a chicken breast on top of what looked to be an onion/noodle soup and no gnocchi. Understandably, Becky was perturbed and brought the waiter back and in words more eloquent than these said, "What the hell is this?" The waiter runs off to check with the chef and after a significant amount of time returns to say that there was a mix-up and the chef is preparing the gnocchi this very moment. By now, Becky has rescued the edible chicken from the onion-noodle slop onto her bread plate and places the foreign substance away for immediate removal. A few minutes later, the table clearer kid brings this generous serving of gnocchi.


Despite my pompous attitude here on the site, I tend to be very sympathetic to establishments of any kind that regularly have to put up with the public as a result of my own career trials and tribulations. However, upon seeing this 4 inch by 4 inch serving area half-filled, I laughed loudly. Becky was rotating through a series of emotions that included but were not limited to irritation-fury-embarrassment-hunger-rage-comedy-disappointment-disgust-anger. Meanwhile, I whipped out my cell phone to snap the above photo. Ah, the Postrio.

-Lastly, we may have all underestimated the drawing power of Toni Braxton. We could have stayed at the Flamingo which really likes Toni.

That's a lot more Toni Braxton than I needed.

Toodles

It is with great pleasure that I announce my two day departure from you fine folks here at Wolfden V. For comical banter and inane news stories, you will have to delve elsewhere. Not that I don't love all of you, but, quite frankly, I have people to see and places to go. Until Monday!

Laddie, come on down! You are the next contestant on the Price Is Right!

Having gone nearly one full month without any posting on the Price is Right or Bob Barker, rabid fans of Wolfden V crave an update. Who will be host of the beloved show? We've weathered Hurricane Rosie, teased Sportsman Dan Patrick, and saw dancing muscle Mario Lopez bow out. Still we wait. Who indeed will it be? Not to say too much, but my name has not yet been eliminated.

But what of Bob, who thanks to savvy financial advice, is now a month into retirement. What keeps America's favorite game show host busy these days?

Fans of the PIR will recall his famous sign-off, "Have your pets spayed for neutered. Goodbye, everybody!" This animal cause has taken up Barker's time as he has been lobbying California politicians to pass a bill that would require all pet owners to do as Bob says by the animal's 4 month birthday. As people tend to do when Bob gets involved, they went crazy:

"We were just inundated," said Don Wilcox, chief of staff to Sen. Gloria Negrete McLeod, a Democrat and chairwoman of the Senate's local government committee, which scuttled the bill. He said the committee received 30,000 letters and thousands of phone calls both for and against the plan.

Some of the letters even encouraged McLeod to bid higher in an attempt to win a new car.

Ok, so that didn't happen, but what did happen was a surprise entry into the debate.

When the Senate panel met Wednesday to move forward, among the hundreds who showed up to oppose the bill was a collie named Laddie, an offspring in the line of former TV show star Lassie.

Laddie to the rescue!

The story goes that Laddie is a 9th generation descendant of TV's famous Lassie. While Lassie saved Timmy's life (click here to see Timmy today and here to see Lassie today), Laddie was out to kill. It appears that for the time being Laddie was successful as his emotional appearance was enough to end debate and push the bill aside for the time being. Ends up the Lassie-line would have ended if this bill had been in existence as somewhere along the lines, probably during Civil War times, the chain would have ended. And clearly, we couldn't have that.

Laddie then left the courthouse, ran to Hollywood, and hoped to play Plinko.

Photo from LassieWeb.org