He may save the world from robot cars, but don't be bringing that shit in here

A delightfully fun story emerging from the Chicago land area has Shia LaBeouf arrested after appearing intoxicated during a late night stop inside a Walgreens drug store.

The arrest occurred at 2:30am Sunday morning and centered around his anger over his coupons from the previous week expiring; thereby rendering his 39 cent coupon for Mandarin Oranges useless and requiring a full payment of 99 cents. Understandably, the utter disappointment caused him to drink and get into it with the overnight crew who restrained him using overstock crutches and subduing him with Tylenol PM. The Drew-equivalent (overworked, tired, frustrated 20 something in a gray smock) called police who noticed a resilient LaBeouf reaching for his whip - a prop from LaBeouf's upcoming Indiana Jones film. He donned a hat from the clearance bin and began running up and down aisle 8 uttering profanities and speaking in pig Latin. The photo clerk distracted LaBeouf with the flash of a disposable camera before the Drew-equivalent threw his box cutter at the aisle marker above aisle 8, causing it to crash down on the Transformers' star's head. As the police rushed in, the assistant manager could be heard yelling a slew of famous, butchered movie lines such as "Yippee-ki-yay, make my day, hasta la vista, baby!"

Well, now you know what I fantasize about when working overnight shifts to set the Christmas aisle.