Blow up about the blow ups

I know I am a day or two late on this, but I have the day off, and dammit, I want to write about baseball.

The Chicago White Sox, much like everyone else in the AL Central, aren't very good. Specifically, they can't hit, and so the logical way to deal with this problem was to bring a couple of blow up dolls into the clubhouse in a Major League movie-esque way of ridding the team of the bad voodoo spells plaguing the South Siders.

My question is a question I'm sure that a great many individuals have and that is how does Ozzie Guillen still have a job after this?

The man has shown over the years he is ignorant with the slurs and rants he liberally throws around, and this blow up doll incident shouldn't shock too many that it occurred on his watch. He could apologize and this would be brushed under the rug as "Ozzie doing his thing," but he has instead decided to be combative as usual:

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I can't come up with the words, because as soon as I say that, that means I'm guilty of something. I'm not. I'm not guilty. ... We just had a plastic thing sitting on a table and, wow, we're bad people."

The situation has been described by those defending it as "boys being boys" and "it's in the locker room." Even my beloved morning radio show applauded Ozzie for giving the finger to the politically correct and overly sensitive.

What era are these people living in?

How is it that a couple blow up dolls represent the best manner in which to express anything? This is an incident just months after Isiah Thomas, the New York Knicks, and Madison Square Garden were found liable for creating a sexually charged sporting situation. While this Chicago incident didn't involve a specific individual against whom the wrong was done, the legal term is "hostile work environment" by which the employer can be held responsible for negligence in matters just such as these. Encouraging, permitting or even turning a blind eye to this type of behavior puts the entire organization at risk for legal liability. This is to say nothing of the stupid moral behavior this exhibits, though, I understand that's a subjective argument that is difficult to argue or defend.

I know that winning the 2005 World Series and ending centuries of Chicago suffering create a safety net for job security. Since then, however, the White Sox haven't exactly torn it up. 3rd place in 2006, 4th place in 2007, and 2 games under .500 here in 2008. All the while, Guillen throws his weekly temper tantrum, good taste be damned. Even his boss, General Manager Ken Williams knows he's a moron:

"He has a great opportunity to have a voice, not just in baseball but in sports. And I worry sometimes the language he chooses to use sometimes misses the mark on the intent of the message."

But what does it take to fire a man who "misses the mark" so very frequently while continually drawing negative attention to the White Sox team and putting the entire organization in legal jeopardy with the situation screaming "hostile work environment?" The club's performance is deteriorating in such a way since that high in 2005 that Guillen can't rely on that World Series win to save his position. If I were Ken Williams, I'd have taken this most recent blow up doll incident and taken all three of them out to the dumpster.

Photo from the Daily Illini Blog

I'm going to say what I need to say

These are slow times at Wolfden V. With Joe Borowski on the DL, I have no goat to pin the blame for the Cleveland Indians' struggles. With a somewhat competent learning team this class at the University of Phoenix, I have no irritatingly ignorant writings to critique. Oh wait, I sorta do.

In high school, I was music crazy. I was all about lists and rankings and whatnot. While many of the lists put Metallica, Nirvana, and Green Day atop whatever musical category I wished to measure, the high school gang did have one other type of list. That list was worst song out there. Now, I must say that the pool of qualifying songs were only those that my beloved 106.7 The End, New Orleans New Rock station played.

Every time a "worst" list came up for any reason, Tal Bachman's "She's So High" topped the chart. I hated and still hate that song. I think it's absolutely horrible, and why it somehow ended up on a rock station is baffling and likely the reason that 106.7 is no longer with us (a hurricane might also have played a small role, too). But Tal Bachman, that one hit wonder, was always the worst. The Beastie Boys threatened with a slew of crap to dethrone Bachman, but not even "Body Movin'" could supplant Tal's big "Ooohhhhhh yeeeeeahhh."

While my musical horizons have been broadened (not much), I frequently listen to the HOT AC format as the station of compromise when driving around with Becky. A nice slew of Goo Goo Dolls and 3 Doors Down mix in with that Fergie chick and the eighteen artists/bands who sound like John Mayer (pictured above being kneed in the groin). It is the latter who now threatens Tal Bachman's place for worst song ever on my radio.

I've never cared for John Mayer. I think he's whiny and horribly superficial with his puffy pop. That said, I've never had a tremendous distaste for him either, as he has a niche and when the rest of the radio is trying to sound like you, clearly you've done something well. He's always just kinda been there. Perhaps the best word I can use to describe him is "eh."

But now, I have something I need to say. And that is that "Say What You Need to Say" is one of the worst songs of all-time. How a song that urges such critically important dialogue manages to say nothing at all is of great quandary. The gist of the song is that Mayer repeats the title non-stop for a grueling 4 minutes. It became such a joke to me and my radio sharing wife that she decided to count just how many times the phrase is repeated.

37 freaking times.

It's as if Mayer isn't even trying to write lyrics. He's laying around his studio too lazy to come up with anything creative and instead got stuck on a potentially good concept only to repeat it a thousand times while thinking of something else to write. This is a guy who's been linked to Jennifer Anniston and Cameron Diaz who are no doubt swept up with his profound take on life. 37 times!

I'm not sure that I'm quite ready to kick Bachman off the lofty perch of most awfulest terriblest song, but if KS 95 insists on continuing to play this crap every time Becky and I are in the car, I may just have to cave in and listen to Becky's country station.

Hmm, on second thought, that's just not going to happen. Ever.

Photo from USA Today

Univerisity of Phoenix Drama!!!

Oooh! Exciting developments! Developments worthy of multiple exclamation points!!!

My trials and tribulations with the University of Phoenix have been well chronicled on this forum. But there is one incident that has escalated into a fun, typing feud. For those that recall Valpo's Student Senate, I definitely compare that experience with this one. This is an incident in which I am firmly in the right, and people want to debate that fact. What follows is wordy bliss!

Let me take you back in time, dear reader. A week ago, my team had its second team paper due for our course. One of the team members - we'll call him Sean for no particular reason - decided to cut and paste 90% of his contribution to the first team paper and submit it to the group for his contribution to the second team paper. Sean hoped no one would notice, but the acute, ever proofreading eye of Mr. Wolfman noticed this incredibly obvious cut and paste. I said as much to the team.

My original post to the team:

Sean,

I was hesitant yet silent when you mentioned that you wanted to research the same two companies as our first paper. What you have submitted is almost completely word-for-word what was in the first paper with a few sentences at the end throwing in a new twist. I think these sections need reworking to at least show some additional thought or research went into the paper and that we are not cutting and pasting from old documents at a master's level course.

-Drew

A full day passed in which every member of the team posted a new comment to the team forum and none of whom bothered to even acknowledge my comment or the fact that a major incident had taken place. Now close to the deadline, I realized that nothing was going to happen and posted a follow-up.

If we as a team are going to ignore the issue I brought forth last night regarding cutting and pasting, so be it. I still find this to be a severe breach of any type of academic standards, but if it is going to remain in the paper as is, it should at least be cited appropriately. Using a previous paper, one must cite himself and his previous paper compliant to APA standards. At the very least, the reader, in this case the professor, has the right to know where the material was originally published.

-Drew

The paper was submitted, and my name yet again was attached to a paper that would have failed Mr. Nelson's 10th grade English class. So it goes. The professor opted to give Sean a separate grade from the rest of the team, and I do not know what the grade was. I hope he failed miserably.

For the class, we are required to post to the class a final summary of what we learned, liked, disliked, or otherwise experienced. An open forum if you will.

Sean's profound class summary?

Its finally over, believe it or not it seems like we just started last week. The past 6 weeks have gone fast but been very informative. I enjoyed the class and hope to see you all again in future classes.

Getting past whatever the hell that first sentence was (part run-on, part fragment), you see that there was a whole lot of nothing in the overall message. My final summary weighed in at a cool 487 words offering pros and cons of various course features. The part relevant to Sean follows:

The group papers were again largely unnecessary. I don't know that they were so educational that they were/are worth the stresses and hassles of coordinating schedules and pain staking unification. While they do allow a glimpse into other companies that we as a team would otherwise be unexposed to, I don't know that a team paper is the best forum for this information. A discussion thread amongst the class or even the team would have been a better medium, particularly given the lazy tendencies of certain team members.

Apparently Sean's guilty conscious got the best of him - that and my nameless jab. He felt the need to reply to my class summary in the most glorious of fashions.

Once again you over analyze everything and make something out of nothing. Complain, complain, complain...that seems to be what you should have mastering in....

I was giddy when I saw that answer. Unprofessional, incorrect verb tense, and AN EMOTICON! Absolutely stunning. That simple answer was such a perfect microcosm for Sean's entire effort. Of course, I had to respond.

It's unfortunate for this outburst of unprofessional comments (though the emoticon was an especially nice touch). I never mentioned you by name, Sean, but the overwhelming discrepancy in effort between group members was tremendously egregious. In a true academic setting, cutting and pasting from one paper to another would be grounds for failure of the entire course. Truth be told, I was as concerned that the group was apathetic toward the whole event as I was the original effortless second submission.

The incident in this class was a reinforcement of previous classes which have been full of disappointing group experiences where the team setting did not produce the results, I believe, that could have been achieved through other forms of learning. I attempted to convey this fact with other positives of this class, which you clearly took as a personal attack. I will not go so far as to say it wasn't, but it was not the main point of the final summary.

-Drew

Bye, bye Sean. Bye, bye. :)

Photo from SunnyValeChristianSchool First Grade Page

Joe Blows (Save): Part II

I normally am limited to a review of Cleveland's box score, but with the Indians featured on ESPN's Monday Night Baseball game of the week, I had an opportunity to see the final few innings. With a 4-3 lead heading into the bottom of the 9th, I had a first hand look at the man, the myth, the legend: Joe Borowski. I watched as his blazing 83mph fast ball danced down the middle of the plate to Manny Ramirez who socked it for a game winning home run. I also watched as Jon Papelbon came on and threw change ups at 89mph past Cleveland's hitters. Yes, his slow pitch is 6mph faster than the fastest pitch Joe can throw.

A review of last night's Joe Borowski appearance:

2/3 of an inning; 4 hits; 3 earned runs; 1 HR allowed; and (gasp!) a blown save.

Taking a look at his season statistics:

18.00 ERA and a WHIP of 2.75. Oh yeah, blown save #2.

I realize that my dislike of Joe Borowski is overwhelming, but at what point do the Indians HAVE to make a change. He isn't good, he wasn't good, and something (anything) has to change in the 9th inning.

Photo from ESPN.com

Idol Gives Back

I enjoy American Idol. This fact is no secret to you, dear readers. Last night, however, was a departure from the normal format of sing and sling someone. Last night was the now annual charity show where a parade of superstars plead for funds to help the individuals in a pretaped video displaying human beings somewhere in the 6th rung of hell.

I have really mixed feelings on the show. I watched most of it while typing another extraordinarily awesome University of Phoenix paper, and I came away without that heart tugging, please take all my money guilty feeling that a show of this stature is supposed to invoke.

For starters, the benefiting party was scattered among all walks of life. While everyone featured needed a helping hand, some needed it much more so than others. I have way more sympathy for the plight of a starving child in Uganda who was born into a horrible situation, will forever be stuck into that horrible situation due to lack of resources, and will likely die a very young death because of an uncontrollable plight of life. These individuals I feel for and would donate for.

On the other hand, a significant amount of footage featured those in the United States that could use a little boost. Hanna Montana took us on a tour of Clay County and Brad Pitt and Reese Witherspoon (a picture of course necessary) pleaded for funds to rebuild New Orleans. The video then showed a single father of three and in a separate story a single mother of four having a difficult go of it. I realize that I have been incredibly blessed in life to have the resources and situation that I have, but I have a difficult time comparing a poor person in the United States with a poor person in "insert any one of the many third world countries" Africa.

They are completely different ballgames. Those in the United States have food, shelter, education, and an opportunity to advance to a better place. I understand that they will have to overcome obstacles and the deck is stacked against them, but as compared to third world countries, even the poorest Americans are rich. As such, I find it difficult to donate to a lump cause. I want my funds to go to those in the most dire of situations, and I just don't feel that those in the United States compare to those in Africa.

My second issue with last night's program came with the way and the persons asking for contributions. Rob Schneider is apparently still alive and relevant enough to land a place on the star studded charity show. In his brief appearance he threw in a joke that Bono has enough money to fix half of Africa, but we the audience were needed for the other half.

It was somewhat funny but somewhat true. I don't mean to pick on Bono as he has done plenty - like him or not - to advance the cause of those in horrible situations. But, the man can do way more with his pen and his checkbook than 100,000 of us offering $10 or $20 increments. If all the stars on the show wanted to get serious about it, they could be making donations that would put the rest of us to shame.

Miley Cyrus spent time talking to some school children about how much she likes computers, which was an indirect appeal to the children that adore her to contribute whatever they can to this good cause. Teaching children the value of charity and sharing money is an incredibly valuable concept, but each kid watching the show could empty their piggy bank with less an effect than Cyrus buying a computer for every school kid in Kentucky without so much as a dent on her earnings. Again, I struggle with the concept because it passes the buck onto the most fortunate, alleviating the responsibility of all people to help those in need. That notwithstanding, seeing someone with so much beg and plead with those less than they to give money does provide a hollow sense of urgency.

In all, American Idol did a great thing. They used their power and influence to raise funds for those who are in desperate situation. They provided a medium for those who wanted to and who were moved to, to improve the lives of other people in tremendous need. However, the wide brush of need causes me to feel as if the charitable focus is lacking, and the rich asking for money from middle class America rubbed me as questionable. The overall pull thus was lacking and perhaps not what it could otherwise have been.

Oh, and The Office is back tonight.

Photo from etonline.com

Early season Joe watch

Perhaps you, the astute baseball fan, noticed that Torri Hunter's rally-monkey pleasing walk-off grand slam, propelling the Anaheim Angels to victory was slugged off of the mighty Joe Borowski.

A quick look of the statistics:
19.29 ERA, runs allowed in two of three outings, 4 walks in 2.1 IP, and 2 HRs allowed

Opening Day 2008

The gloriousness of Opening Day! A day when hope fills baseball stadiums and fans' hearts everywhere. An opportunity to forget ALCS disasters and think of redemption. A chance for the Kansas City Royals to lay claim to first place. A wonderful, glorious day.

Yes, the wonderfulness of Opening Day spread to Minneapolis where I attended my very first live and in person season starter. The bright sunshine, the freshly cut grass. Ahhh. Heavenly.

Those would have been great, but there was a blizzard in Minneapolis yesterday. A suburb just south of here received eight inches of snow, and the wind blowing at 20 miles per hour made it a pleasant stroll into the Metrodome. People came into the dome drenched from the big wet flakes, rosy cheeked from the gusts between skyscrapers, and shoes soaked from the slop just to get inside. Ah yes, Opening Day in Minnesota. Only 161 more home games until we do this outdoors in the new stadium.

But alas, the game! The excitement! Having commuted straight from work at 30 mph through a sea of red break lights, I was eager to discover the outcome of the Indians' first game. The Metrodome's scoreboard revealed a 10-8 victory over the White Sox. A fine start to the baseball evening.

The Twins took the field to a rousing ovation. An ovation of 45,000+ who said weather be damned it's time to play ball. It was the biggest Twins crowd in nearly a decade and they warmly welcomed back former favorite son Torri Hunter who was greeted to a standing ovation both during staring line-up announcements and his first at bat. Perhaps best of all was the left field banner spanning an entire row that said "Welcome home Torri" to which Hunter, the Angels new center fielder, tipped his hat and smiled. Naturally, the fans booed loudly when Torri made his first catch, retiring a Twins batter in the early innings, and then cheered a little extra loudly when Joe Nathan struck him out in the 9th. Easy come, easy go.

I saw a ball hit the PA speaker high above the Metrodome. Having read about just such a scenario in one of those baseball teasers, I was thrilled to have seen it happen in person and on the first batter of the Twins' season no less. Chris Gomez popped it high above home plate and Jered Weaver ran around, flailing about in a failed attempt to make the grab. I love seeing something new at every game.

Gomez and other new outfielder new comer Delmon Young looked really sharp. Gomez in particular lit up the stadium with his impressive speed (2 stolen bases and 1 bunt single) with Young driving in a few runs in the middle of the Twinkies' line-up. Heck, even Livan Hernandez looked good, even though it's still amazing he's an opening day starter.

In all, a glorious wonderful day that could and would not be ruined by Mother Nature. The Twins took care of business with a 3-2 victory, bringing them into a first place tie with your AL Central leading Cleveland Indians. Projections now have the Twins and Tribe finishing 162-0, which has to be some type of record or something.

Photos from WCCO.com that also features a lovely weather related story and additional pictures from the snow storm and Kare11.com